Lesson Nine

Promise for this lesson:

• You will identify what to release as you move forward in your life.

Somatic Grief Relief® Principle:

Integrate body and mind.

Forgiveness

It is important to talk about forgiveness as part of the grief journey.

Nothing frees our heart more than forgiveness. We cannot heal if we are holding onto blame, regret or resentment.

Everyone has forgiveness work to do. It is a mental, emotional and spiritual practice that opens the doors of perception and frees us to live a life we love living.

• Forgiveness is a path to healing.

• Forgiveness sets you free.

• Forgiveness is for you and not the offender.

• Forgiveness is taking back your power.

• Forgiveness is taking responsibility for how you feel.

• Forgiveness is about your healing and not about the people who hurt you.

• Forgiveness can be learned & it helps you gain control over your feelings.

• Forgiveness is becoming a victor instead of a victim.

• Forgiveness is a CHOICE.

• Forgiveness produces freedom and freedom equals peace.

What Forgiveness is NOT

• Forgiveness is not condoning unkindness.

• Forgiveness is not forgetting something painful happened.

• Forgiveness is not excusing poor behavior.

• Forgiveness is not denying or minimizing your hurt.

• Forgiveness does not mean reconciling with the offender.

• Forgiveness does not mean you have to give up having feelings.

Why Forgive?

“Why must I be the one to forgive? I was the victim, the one who was hurt.”

“because, I am the one who wants to be healed.”

Forgiveness is an inside job. As long as we don’t forgive, we hold ourselves prisoner.

Forgiveness Practices

In the book, A Course in Miracles, there is a statement that says:

“Every action we take is either an expression of love, or a call for love, regardless of how unskillful it may seem.”

That means that we learn to separate the being from the behavior itself. Our practice is to learn to see past the person who did the behavior into the essence of who they are.

Forgiveness Formula

I Recognize, I Bless (i.e., you, person, this thought, this feeling, this event.)

I Forgive (you, person, for showing up as THIS thought or feeling AGAIN.)

I Release (You, it, or this to LOVE.)

Truth Statements

Myth: Self care is selfish, my grief should be focused on my departed.
Truth: Self care is the foundation for moving through grief because grief Zaps your energy and grief lives in the body.

Myth: My heart will always have this wound and I will never be happy again.
Truth: My heart will always have this wound and new life can grow around it.

Myth: If I stop longing for my departed I may forget or dishonor them.
Truth: By living life fully I honor and remember my departed.

Myth: I must do grief alone because no one can understand my pain.
Truth: We hold ourselves back when we don’t ask for or accept offered help.